This is why...

So let’s be honest here, I’m fat! I’ve always been fat…and I have been okay with that for most my life (or at least I’ve told myself that). Sure I have/had those moments when I’m getting ready to go out on a date or out with friends and started crying because nothing looks cute on me but you know even skinny girls have that problem. Anyway my point is I’ve dealt. I thought to myself, you know I have no problems finding dates, my friends love me, as long as I am happy then what should it matter how much I weigh? WELL IDIOT IT DOES!

I don’t do well with being told to do something. I guess maybe I never have, but that’s a question for my mother. So when my parents would suggest I go on a diet I’d get defensive and look at them like “Pot? Kettle? Which one do you want to be?” I have said time and time again making a change has to be my decision. I have to decide I want to be different, I want to improve myself. And now I have…

About two weeks ago I was tagged on FB in a photo with my one of my best friends, Christina, who was visiting for Christmas with her family, now I’ve always been a lot bigger then Christina even in 10^th grade but I was use to seeing our differences in photos UNTIL this one and I thought to myself “OMG WHO IS THAT FAT GIRL, I look disgusting!!!!”   I was tempted (and still am) to ask her to take it down but well then that would be a weakness and I show no weakness when it comes to my size (that’s another blog).

So last week I was watching TV on my couch with my coffee and cigarettes (another change coming in 2011), being lazy like I am every day, and for the trillionth time the Jennifer Hudson "New Day" Weight Watcher commercial came on. Okay I’m a huge Weight Watcher fan but really J-Hud you are getting on my last nerve! But then it hit me… I need to get off my couch and start moving… I need to finally say “this is it” and lose the weight.

Friday afternoon I emailed my Mom and Sister and explained how it was time for me to take that step, and Friday night I discussed it with my boyfriend,  Beau likes that I’m a plus size women however I will say he is also very supportive of me making this change and even offered to go walking with me.  

Now why  blog about this you ask? I’ll tell you, I am always one with “BIG” ideas and I start them (most times) but I never finish. With both conversations (the one with my family and the one with Beau) I stressed how much I will need encouragement and support. I have a friend who is currently doing Weight Watchers online and she is doing great, but I need to have someone I have to report to every week in order to stay motivated, so now I need you out in Blog world too. I think writing a blog will help me with some of my hidden issues with always being the “fat” girl, it will help when I am having problems staying on track, and I have you to report to as well, not just the lady at WW who probably won’t remember me from week to week.

So when do I start? THURSDAY! (it’s pay day) I’ve chosen a place by work, so every Thursday I can go during lunch and attend meetings. I’m going do this and I’m going to be successful!

So to come: more ramblings of a “fat” girl, updates on how I am doing, pictures of the progress, and much more.

At 1 with my sister older (btw I'm the baby)...

At 5 (I think)

At 10 (check out the cool hair and shorts...)

At 13, I think they took this to show my "ackward stage"

At 17 (Homecoming)

At 21...